Peace. Where Do I Even Start?

“Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering, and the lonely right there where you are — in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools. You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see. Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society — completely forgotten, completely left alone.”
-Mother Teresa

World peace.  It's a lofty idea.  It's a radical idea.  It's an ideal ideal.

Two simple words but in a conversation they tend to steer the talk to deep theories and intellectual arrogance as we eagerly share our beliefs and thoughts on how to make this all happen.  We point to "other people" or "other places" (Middle East for example) and roll our eyes with pride.  Obviously we must be doing something right and they are just mucking it all up.

But is that really the case?  Look at our personal lives; we're divorced, angry, lawsuit ridden, bitter, and quick to burn bridges.  We're disgruntled at work, we flip people off in traffic, cuss at telemarketers for annoying us, and feud with our adult children.  We hate our parents, slander our ex's name to whomever will listen, and are eager to Internet bully complete strangers.  We're told to write people off if we think them a nuisance.  We feel justified in withholding compassion from jerks.  

But it begs the question -- if we have had bad service at a restaurant and can't leave without feeling cheated and irritated, how do we expect a man on the other side of the world to forgive his enemies for setting off a bomb that killed his child?  If we can't make it through a holiday without screaming at our spouse, why do we expect better self-control from a violent, starving thief in the slums a world away from our festive turkey?  Therein lies more than just a hint of hypocrisy.   

If we were to stand back and compare our actions to our ideals, I think it would be shaming.  I think we in the First World countries would be humbled by how little we know about what it means to try to have peace when you're dying of hunger or when your living in fear for your life or when you don't have any hope of a brighter future.

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."
-(attributed to Mother Teresa but probably a paraphrase of a longer speech)

My definition of peace is not simply the absence of violence and force.  As a Christian, I believe in a greater peace, a peace not of this world.  I've had a taste of that peace through my faith but my sinful nature constantly wars with it and my personal relationships can be oh so messy. 

I believe God calls us to peace with ourselves and each other.  He knows it's a tall order that no human can accomplish.  This is why we're given the Holy Spirit; if we could do it on our own, we would.  But we can't; we need divine help and intervention. 

God has only entrusted me with a small pocket of the world to steward.  And, sometimes, it feels like more than I can handle.  So, in humility, I've realized I don't have the answer for world peace nor the power to carry it out. 

What I do have is my teeny tiny corner of the world and I can make a difference here.  If I did this, wouldn't that make for a better world?  Couldn't that possibly slip from my home into other cities, other countries, across oceans, spreading around the world? 

Our mission doesn't have to be exotic or bigger than life.  Our mission field, battleground, and cause is in our own families and communities.  Speak Jesus into the lives of those nearest you.  God said to love our neighbors and our neighbors are surrounding us: whether it's the alcoholic everyone's given up on; the single mom whose kid just dropped out of school; the pastor whose dad just died; the married couple who can't get pregnant.  We are literally surrounded by dozens and dozens of people who don't even need handouts or a lavish intervention but simply need a friend.  Just show up.  Be there.  Share space together.  Be inconvenienced.  Open yourself up.  Be vulnerable enough to possibly get hurt because you care just as hard as Christ cared for you.

Today, I think, is a great day to not give advice on how the entire world should resolve their differences.  Today is a great day for me to work on my part of the planet and the lives of the people God has put there for a reason. 

“Jesus taught us how to forgive out of love, how to forget out of humility. So let us examine our hearts and see if there is any unforgiven hurt - any unforgotten bitterness! It is easy to love those who are far away. It isn't always easy to love those who are right next to us. It is easier to offer food to the hungry than to answer the lonely suffering of someone who lacks love right in one's own family. The world today is upside down because there is so very little love in the home, and in family life.” -Mother Teresa

(Child at soup kitchen in Bolivia, 2007)

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/75823451@N04/13915675772">Soup Kitchen Belly</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">(license)</a>

 

(Mom and son, 2015)

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(Hug, 2015)

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What I'm Reading

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers

author -- Meg Meeker, M.D.

I originally picked up The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers by Meg Meeker because my husband suggested it; he'd read Meeker's Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters and has been a devoted fan since.

In 10 Habits, Meeker puts into comprehensible words several of my disorganized thoughts on what motherhood has become in the 21st century; an endless ball of nerves surrounded by blazing messages warning doom around every corner!  Well, maybe that's an exaggeration but she does touch on many of the toxic habits mothers today struggle with and how to rid our lives of this negativity.  Interwoven into her sound advice are beautiful success stories meant to inspire and encourage us on our journey to be the moms we so desperately want to be.

The habits Meeker says emotionally healthy, happy mothers practice are as follows: understanding our value as moms, maintaining friendships, faith, refusing to compete, good money management, spending time alone, knowing how to love in healthy ways, simplifying our lives, refusing to live in fear, and, last but not least, having hope.  Wow, what a great list but a tall order indeed!

I was pleasantly surprised to find some of these habits come naturally to me.  Others, I've already recognized as needing to be part of my core identity long before I read Meeker's mothers' handbook.  However, there were several areas where her advice really helped steer me toward total mother happiness. 

The first would be understanding my value as a mother.  In this section, she has the reader do an exercise which may feel silly but is so effective -- making a list of positive things we love about ourselves and repeating it over and over in our head throughout the day.  I was game for it and discovered, after a few days practicing this, my perception of who I am as a person cleared and I had a healthy, genuine confidence (even when facing rejection).

Another chapter that really spoke to me (and I'm sure it will touch a nerve with many of us in this crazy rat race) was one in which Meeker calls us to simplify our lives.  A section of this addresses the illusion that a busy mom is a successful mom.  How freeing for me!  I've always envied moms who just seem to be everywhere at once doing everything all the time.  To me, they seemed so important!  What Meeker says, however, is that it's okay to not be busy and many happy mothers aren't.  *aaannndddd, deep breath of relief.  woosah*

If you can't tell already, I would highly recommend this book to any one of my fellow mom sisters!  (Or even curious husbands who want to understand the inner workings of their wives' minds.)  But, be warned, some of these ideas will call you to be brave and let go of  bad habits that have become part of your identity.  Don't be the unhappy woman who picks this book up, reads until she finds something she doesn't want to try, and throws it down declaring Meekers standards impossible.  Hard?  Yes.  Impossible?  No.

My guess is if you crack this book open, you (like me) could use a little smoothing on those rough edges.  So, knowing that, embrace some advice and try something new!  After all, much of what we're doing isn't working out for us.  If I don't like my new "habits," I can very easily revert back to the old ones. 

I call on all of us to go ahead and give these ten habits a try!

   

~excerpts~

(and portraits of mothers from around the world and different times)

from Get A (Good) Grip On Humility
"...being humble does not mean being self-effacing...  It is embracing a realistic look at our frailties as well as our strengths and then believing that we, just as other mothers who have their own frailties and strengths do, share inordinate value...  Humility brings extraordinary freedom.  When we lower ourselves, refuse to admit our strengths and gifts, or live with false modesty, we lower all mothers.  Many of us do this without even realizing that we are doing it."

from Focus On Your Deeper Purpose In Life
"Each of us was created to fill a calling.  First and foremost, we were born to be really good moms.  We weren't born to be mothers who are thin, rich, smart, who drive a lot, buy our kids great clothes, or get them into good colleges.  We were born to leave a mark on our world.  And usually, that mark is made on our kids and then on others' lives.  Sometimes it leaves its mark because of something we have done for another person and other times it happens because we were with that person.  We are beings -- mother beings.  We are human beings but we focus so constantly on the doing of life that we forget how to be.  Our deeper purpose in life flows from a sense that our presence is important to another person.  We have something to share with another and sometimes this takes work, and sometimes it means simply being who we are in the company of another."

from The Friendship That Changed My Life
"'Patricia?'  I called from behind...We chatted for almost twenty minutes as I tried to draw the conversation out as long as possible before broaching the sensitive subject that had prompted me to introduce myself.  Finally... I summoned the courage to ask this stranger to come live in our home for as long as she saw necessary...  We made arrangements for me to pick her up from the woman's shelter where she was currently staying...  She came for three weeks and stayed a year and a half.  I cried like a baby when she moved out...  During our twelve-year friendship, she suffered a stroke and two bouts of pneumonia, and had a defibrillator placed in her heart to correct irregular heart rhythms...  With every hospitalization, electric shock, or round of antibiotics, Patricia grew older...  Every day I drove by her house and checked to see if her lights were on or her plants were watered -- signs that she was still there and alive...  What most impressed me was the way in which Patricia talked about God.  Her voice quieted and became softer.  She used adjectives when describing Him like kind, gentle, and nurturing...  One dark October morning, I got a phone call from my husband...  Patricia had slipped into a coma.  She never came out of it...  We tired of waiting and watching her not respond.  I grew impatient and angry at her God, who she said was so nice...  On the sixth night of her hospitalization...  We [a friend and I] snuck into her room long after visiting hours were over and heard the gentle puff of her respirator...  something was different.  I looked at my friend and asked if she noticed anything different about Patricia.  She ever so slightly nodded her head...  'She's not here,' my friend whispered in astonishment...  We sensed... that Patricia had passed into heaven before her body gave out.  The next morning the doctor advised her children that, since there was no hope of Patricia getting better, he be allowed to take her breathing tube out...  'Don't be afraid,' I told them first.  'Your mom does not want you to be afraid.  She wasn't afraid to die.'...  The four told the doctor to remove the tube...  I held her bony hands in mine and kissed them as the doctor yanked the plastic and tore the tape from her face...  Something extraordinary happened.  I felt calmness consume me...  It was all okay...  During our friendship, Patricia taught me to be a better mother...  She taught me to forgive myself...  She taught me, in her life, that God is good, because she opened her heart and shared secrets with me...  And in her death, she showed me how good God can be."

from How Cindy Confronted Jealousy And Turned It Around
"Competition is a powerful force, and it has the potential to destroy.  But once it's confronted and brought into the open, it can be surprisingly easily overcome.  Jealousy between mothers, especially, is ugly stuff and there is no place for it...  We all harbor it to one degree or another because we are women who want life to go well, and when we think we see someone else get everything easily, we want what she has.  But it doesn't have to be that way."

from Look Close To Home For Contentment -- Not To Money
"So let's do it!  Let's strip money of the power that it holds over us as women, as mothers.  Rather than simply devising scenarios whereby we can make the balance between work and mothering teeter perfectly, let us shatter the notion that making money defines our worth (or part of it), ensures our independence, gives us complete security, and grants us power.  Is it outrageous to shatter the money paradigm altogether and embrace the belief that, as mothers, our worth stems from something far deeper?  Can we believe that our independence erupts from our human spirit, our power comes from our female humanity, and our security is born from something more significant than money?  If we believe that money is part of life but not the driving force that can make us happy (although it never really does) or make us miserable, if we take bold measures, we'll see that real contentment never has a price tag."

from The Getting -- Problems With Anger, Lack Of Trust, And A Different Kind Of Expectation
"Giving love is hard, but getting (or accepting) it back is just as difficult for many of us mothers.  The main culprit is anger that has hidden underground.  And many of us moms are experts at being angry and neither showing nor feeling it.  Anger is tied to too many other emotions.  We feel pressure, particularly when our kids are young, not to show disappointment, anger, or frustration at the young people they are.  But we need to address this issue because we are the ones who live with the smoldering suffocation of latent anger.  We are the ones who miss out because we don't want to give it up and allow the great infusion (or even trickles) of love from all sides and from all sorts of people in our midst."

from Inward Simplicity -- Find Your True Purpose, And Let The Rest Go
"In short, we live with an overriding sense that we have ultimate control over who our kids become when they are adults.  We therefore believe that every decision we make can potentially alter the outcome of their lives.  And this is an enormous burden to carry.  I want to be clear here.  Parents are the primary influence in a child's life concerning character development, but the truth is, even our influence is very limited."

from Loosen Your Grip
"Simplicity is the disciplined art of letting go.  It means willfully determining that your inner self needs some focus, some paring down and reorganization of priorities.  And once we have given attention to that inner self, it needs help.  We must attach a pair of feet to it in order that it can stay alive and work out its intentions.  Giving is the best way to help that process begin."

from Desensitize, Step-By-Step
"What do I do to overcome my fear of rejection by my husband when I speak?...  I...invite him to as many of my lectures as possible...  It ignites even more trepidation, but I need to address him more frequently in order to overcome this irrational fear.  My friend Sandy did the same with her girlfriends.  As an at-home mother with four kids, she felt intimidated to join a business group for women.  She was a psychology major in college 'a hundred years ago,' as she always said, and felt that she would have nothing intelligent to say to her peers.  Would she have good contributions to make to the group?  Of course.  But that reality didn't help squelch her fear of feeling like a fool and being rejected by her friends.  So what did she do?  She joined (with a lot of coaxing) a women's investment group and a book club.  But she didn't stop there.  She made herself speak up in the groups.  She wouldn't simply go and listen; she was determined to get over the gnawing in her gut that other women would think she was stupid, and so she made herself engage in discussions."

from Learn To Trust
"Many mothers put hope in their kids.  Others put hope in God.  Personally, I think that God is the better bet.  If God is real, then believing that He is good helps us put trust in Him for future events.  Hope keeps us moving forward and by putting hope in God, we are choosing to believe that ultimately He will bring about good for us."

(mom walking twins)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/11946169@N00/16937899019">Mommying</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(b&w mom staring at infant)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/84894254@N03/16782736377"></a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(b&w mom with many children)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/52529054@N06/16225212714">Harischchandra family, Dhamtari, India, 1965</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/commons/usage/">(license)</a>

(mom babywearing)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/48090400@N05/16341482314">_MG_2257</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(b&w mom walking small son)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/130320272@N04/16263885073">Different kind of nature</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(vintage b&w of family walking dog)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/95329455@N02/16998880052">Family walking with their collie dog</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(mom and child by waterfall)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/87106931@N00/16787354662">the ourika cascade</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

(mother and daughter running through fountain)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/113047835@N04/16423693717">Mother and daughter running through the fountain.</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(b&w mom with stroller)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/131586579@N03/16815929975">New mam's generation</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

(vintage b&w portrait of mother and son)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/109550159@N08/16785886157">ca_20150331_001</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/commons/usage/">(license)</a>

(mother and son with Ipad)
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5 Most Overrated Movies Of All Time

Look! ^^^  7 Brides For 7 Brothers!  Now THAT is worth the watch!

We all know those movies; the ones quoted about a gazillion times, the ones whose merchandise and collectibles swamp stores around the holidays, the ones OTHER movies even reference.  Yep, the movies that have slipped from entertaining film to legendary folklore. 

But are they all deserving of the title "EPIC"?  My answer?  A resounding NO. 

Below is a list of the top five most overrated films in cinema history.  Keep in mind, this is not a list of bad movies; the flicks listed here pass as good.  However, they are no where near deserving the cult following of fans they've adorned throughout the years.

Buckle up Betsy; this might just take a jab at one of your all-time favorites (but all in fun.)  Here we go:

1.

 

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Beautiful everything.  Underwhelming movie.

There, I've finally said it.  Gone With The Wind is overrated.  Wow, that was liberating; like announcing the emperor isn't wearing clothes, I've daringly stated what many of us think.  Yes the costumes and acting are to die for but after all the hype around this classic film, I really expected more when I first watched it. 

What's wrong with it?  Well, first of all, it's loonnngggg; this isn't always a bad thing for a movie... unless it feels as loonnngggg as it is and, trust me, Gone With The Wind feels very, very loonnngggg.  Maybe it's because the main character has no redeeming qualities at all.  Seriously people, Scarlett O'Hara is a horrible human being!  Urgh.  I spent the second half of the movie begging the screenwriting gods to throw in a twist and have Rhett and Melanie run off together leaving whiny Ashley and conniving Scarlett to each other.  And then, good riddance I say!  Now that would have made the 36 hour long story worth sitting through.

What to watch instead:


My Fair Lady (1964) ~ If you're in the mood for a classic film with mind-blowing costumes and great acting then this one is the better bet AND, as a bonus, the main character is actually likeable. Thumbs up for that!

Little Woman (1949) ~ Dying to watch a classic film set during the Civil War?  This little hidden gem is charming, endearing, and beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.

 

Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961)

Classic Audrey but not her best role.

Audrey Hepburn was a great, beautiful actress but even she couldn't redeem this film.  Why do people love this movie?  Why is this considered an iconic romantic hit?  I honestly have no idea.  The main characters are shallow, selfish, and desperate.  The script drags on and on and nothing important ever happens.  Sorry Tiffany lovers; this is the type of  film that should have been popular for a few years afterwards and then fizzled off.  It certainly is not worthy of note over fifty years after its release date.

What to watch instead:

An Affair To Remember (1957) ~ This movie is everything Tiffany's is not and perfect if you want a vintage "modern" love story to enjoy.

 

 

 

3.

 

Grease (1978)

Nope and no.  Still don't get it.

Aw, Grease; the ultimate "had to be there" type film.  Seriously, that is the only reason this film has hung onto its popularity; people who love it do so because it reminds them of a time that's long gone.  In reality, it lacks charm which is something a film this campy desperately requires.  Maybe I would "get" this film if I had a huge John Travolta crush but since I don't, I'll pass on it if I ever make an epic cinema must-see list.

What to watch instead:

Hello, Dolly! (1969) ~ Dolly! blows Grease out of the water any day.  The songs are not only catchy but catchy AND good.  It's campy AND funny.  AND, Barbra Streisand with Walter Matthau -- now that's a treat for the ages!

 

 

 

 

4.

 

E. T. (1982)

A plush E.T.?!  Okay, seriously, this has gone too far everyone!

It's been over thirty years since E.T. first debuted on the silver screen and people still love this film.  It's supposed to be a memorable and delightful children's romp with an adorable alien but, quite frankly, E.T. comes across as more than just a little creepy.  I'm pretty sure I've picked shriveled bits of food out from under my kitchen table that look a lot like this little extra terrestrial.  Despite the cult following that surrounds it, E.T. is void of the warmth we've come to expect in what are timeless children's films.  It's cold, complicated, and the adults in it are detached and aloof.

What to watch instead:

Old Yeller (1957) ~ A heartwarming tear-jerker, Old Yeller is a timeless and lovable story of a boy and a dog who adopt each other and then have to say good-bye in the end.  Includes loving parents who are attune to their children and, also, some lessons in responsibility and coming-of-age are tackled along the way.  (Geez, I've just made this film sound so good I'm tempted to go watch it again!)

 

 

 

 

 

5.

 

A Christmas Story (1983)

This film has still yet to make me laugh, even once...

Look!  A Christmas movie totally void of Christmas spirit and magic.  Nothing says holiday cheer like watching a potty mouth dad lose his cool repeatedly, a boy spending the whole film trying to figure out how to get the stuff he wants (yes, because Christmas is all about the stuff), and a weak and haggard mother trying to hold everything together.  Sounds exhausting and not fun to me.

Let me add, I utterly loved the book this tale is adapted from; it's hilarious and resoundingly true in it's depiction of growing up "back in the day" in small town USA.  Living in the shadow of this awesome novel might be what makes A Christmas Story feel so empty to me.

What to watch instead:

ANY Christmas movie would be a better pick for holiday fun!

Riding In Cars With Boys (2001) ~ If you truly want to enjoy a movie of family dysfunction and life in vintage, small town America, Riding In Cars is a treat.  It's subtly funny without being obnoxious and the whole cast does an excellent job of making each character feel real.

~~~

 

So, what's your favorite forgotten, underrated cinema masterpiece?  Let me know, because I'm always looking for a good movie to take me away on a cloudy day...

 



(movie theater)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/81389833@N00/4911899614">Classic Movie Night</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

(my fair lady)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/37624835@N03/3814390866">"My Fair Lady" poster, 1964</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(little women)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40143737@N02/8663887061">1949 ... 'Little Women'</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(an affair to remember)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/89093669@N00/1547220246">An Affair to Remember (1957)</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(Grease poster)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/59568944@N00/3427589834">Grease</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(Hello, Dolly!)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/94172598@N00/1163558022">1960s ATC</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

(ET plush toy)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/19457811@N00/375020446">alien headshot</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>

(Old Yeller)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/61412872@N00/2237473349">oh, Tommy Kirk</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

(A Christmas Story)
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/23307937@N04/4175759716">wanna get away?</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

What I'm Reading

Transforming Discipleship

by

Greg Ogden

 



Last year, in a moment of brilliance (*insert sarcastic tone here*), I embarked on an extensive reading list on discipleship and ministry, one of the recommended books being Transforming Discipleship by Greg Ogden.  It takes a lot for me to like non-fiction, so it's truly saying something when I share that I practically devoured this book!  I love how it offered up a simple and practical approach to discipleship and still inspires a sense of urgency in the reform of current discipleship programs.

What Greg Ogden does is essentially lay out a plan for growing disciples in our modern church, emphasizing discipling triads (groups of three people growing together in the word) and relationships.  He contends that a simple approach to discipleship is better than elaborate programs and believes the pastor's primary job is equipping the flock to minister to others (not doing all the ministry and care giving for the church by himself).  He states that by investing in a few (the twelve apostles) and using multiplication through them, Jesus demonstrated to us the most effective way to see true growth within the church; growth that comes from "infant" believers making strides to full maturity.

I think what I loved about this book the most was how it validated feelings I'd had for years regarding my thirst for discipleship.  I grew up in the church (well, several churches to be exact) so I'm well seasoned and familiar with the inner workings of the Christian community.  For most of my adult life I've struggled with the "one size fits all" approach to discipleship.  The standard programs the church puts out every year promising growth for believers left me feeling empty and detached from my fellow Christians.  There was something superficial about the process; people could sign up for these programs so they felt like they were growing in Christ but, in reality, all they were doing was thinking deep thoughts about Scripture without ever really practically applying what they learned (or where taught) to their lives.  I often felt like part of the class was too advanced for the curriculum and the other part was being presented brand new information.  I sensed people were going through the steps of what it meant to be a "good" Christian while the intimacy I longed for was barely there. 

Please don't misunderstand me; there are several classes offered in churches and small group studies I earnestly enjoy.  However, there have been many times where I have felt like I was studying the same material over and over again.  I felt stuck in my discipleship, like I was trapped in a bizarre, religious twist on the "no child left behind" curriculum. 

I cannot being to tell you how guilty I've felt for these feelings; as if I'm infested with a spirit of dissension and am causing mini-revolutions by my inability to stomach more of the same lessons without intimacy or growth from my fellow sisters.  I was frustrated beyond belief; how was it that I was an enthusiastic follower of Christ but was not fitting into a certain mold of what a believer should be like and how they learn?  I just craved more and I wasn't being fed. 

But not one to sit on my hands and wait for another human to take the lead, I began devouring the Scriptures on my own, as if I was starving, and there I found satisfaction and fulfillment.  I began my own study and memorization regiment; it was (and still is) awesome!  However, there were times I felt as if it would be even more amazing if there were a couple of other people there with me, learning the incredible things the Spirit was teaching me.  Jesus meant so much to me; there was no doubt about that.  But why didn't the programs leave me feeling discipled or help me to produce the fruit I yearned to see?

Why was I upset at the assembly line approach to learning God's word?  Why didn't I feel the programs offered by the many churches I attended allowed my sisters and I to really go deep and allow vulnerability?  To bash through the ice and see each other for the broken but redeemed women we are?

Transforming Discipleship answered many of those questions for me.  It validated what I've felt for so long but wasn't able to express and, honestly, didn't feel justified to speak of.  This is a must read for anyone wanting more out of their spiritual growth.

So, what does this mean for me?  Will I be able to apply some of Greg Ogden's suggestions on discipleship programs?  I don't know, but it's given me much to think about. 

 

~excerpts from book~

...from The Strategic Question

"I hear objections from pastors who say they can't have a few in whom they invest because they will be accused of having favorites...  These suspicions are rooted in two assumptions.  The first assumption is that the pastor's primary role after preaching is to be a caregiver...  The second assumption revolves around an appropriate concern about the abuse of power.  A perception can grow within a congregation that a small group controls what happens in the life of a church or ministry.  Church members can then see themselves as outsiders who find it difficult to penetrate the invisible barrier of an undetectable inner circle.  The egalitarian model of equal access, however, is rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of the pastoral role.  In the biblical view, pastors are gifts to the church, and they are to equip the saints for their ministry, not minister on behalf of the saints.  Just so, Jesus thought that investing in a few was so important that he made the selection process public, even at the risk stirring up jealousy and pride."

...from Multiplication

"Jesus' strategy illustrates a principle that church leaders witness regularly: The reach of our ministries is directly proportional to the breadth of our leadership base.  Only to the extent that we have grown self-initiating, reproducing, fully devoted disciples can new ministries touch the brokenness of people's lives.  Therefore we see unmet needs because we have not intentionally grown champions to meet those needs.  However, Jesus knew the human limitation of his incarnate state.  As a solitary human being his reach was limited.  His strategy was designed to touch the whole world through the multiplication of disciples who were carefully trained.  On the eve of his date with the cross, he saw how much fruit his deliberate strategy of multiplication would bear.  He said to his disciples, 'Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father' (John 14:12).  How can it be that someone could do greater works than the Son of God?  The 'greater works' were most likely a matter of quantity more than quality.  By Jesus' multiplication of himself in the Twelve, they would geographically cover far greater territory than he ever did in his limited itinerant ministry.  By the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit carrying them to the entire known world, the sheer volume of Jesus' ministry would expand exponentially.  And so it has been.  By focusing on a few, Jesus was not displaying indifference to the multitudes.  Instead, Jesus had a different vision for reaching the masses than our approach through mass gatherings.  Jesus had enough vision to think small.  Robert Coleman captured Jesus' methodology with the turn of a phrase: 'Jesus' concern was not with programs to reach the multitudes, but with men the multitudes would follow.'"

...from Jesus' Preparatory Empowerment Model

"How did Jesus set about shaping these twelve into people prepared to carry on his work after he returned to the Father?  Acts 4:13 echoes Mark's version of the call of the Twelve to be apostles: 'And he appointed twelve, whom he named apostles, to be with him' (Mark 3:14).  Being with Jesus in a relational setting served as the basis to shape the disciples' character and instill Jesus' mission in them.  What was the relational, developmental process that Jesus took these disciples through so that they would be ready to carry on his mission?  At the outset we must acknowledge that there is no clear step-by-step formula outlined in the Gospels."

...from Developmental Stage Two: Jesus, The Provocative Teacher

[An] encounter in Mark 10 becomes another occasion in which Jesus corrects the theological myths that the disciples have absorbed.  A man we have come to know as the 'rich young ruler' approaches Jesus.  Here is a great catch, if he can be reeled in.  The young man seems eager enough. 'Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'  (Mark 10:17).  Jesus responds with a mysterious retort, 'Why do you call me good?'  In response to what he must do, Jesus enumerates some of the Ten Commandments.  Upon hearing these, the rich young ruler pronounces himself spotless.  But Jesus doesn't accept his self-justification.  He exposes his god: 'You lack one thing; go, sell what you own...then come, follow me' (Mark 10:21).  Jesus calls the question.  The young ruler walks away grieving because of his attachment to his great wealth...  Mark records the reaction of the disciples.  They are perplexed.  All of their life they have been taught that there is an inseparable positive correlation between wealth and righteousness...  Jesus allowed the disciples to live with conundrums...  He wanted disciples who would have to think through the issues...  Jesus intentionally troubled the disciples by challenging their cherished assumptions."

...from Climatic Condition One: Transparent Trust

"What are the elements of transparent trust that will allow us to move gradually into the deep waters of transformation?
- Affirming one another through encouragement
- Walking with one another through difficult times
- Being a reflective listener who assists another to hear God's guidance in life's complexities
- Confessing our sins to one another that we may be healed"

...question posed from The Discipleship Difference

"What would happen to the health of your ministry five to seven years from now if multiplying discipleship groups proliferated in the church community?"

...from Leaving A Legacy

"'Every Christian must see themselves as the link to the next generation,' writes William Barclay.  We need to practice the hand-off.  When all else fails, read the directions.  It is not that Jesus' way has been tried and found wanting; it has been largely talked about but not implemented.  Return to small, reproducible, long-term relationships as the means of transmission of the gospel from one generation to the next."

You Intended To Harm Me...

From these ancient texts...

The Bible tells a story about a man named Joseph.  Though his story had a happy ending, it was riddled with heartache, hard times, and betrayal.  At a young age his older brothers conspired to murder him.  They didn't follow through on it and instead sold the lad, their own brother, into slavery and told their father that Joseph had been killed by a wild beast.

If you know the story it's easy to glaze over the details but, seriously, stop and think about it for a moment; Joseph's big brothers SOLD HIM INTO SLAVERY thus setting in motion a series of horrific events for the guy including years of slavery, exploitation, and hard time served in jail. 

We've all been hurt, but Joseph had tragedies to cope with many of us cannot even begin to fathom.

However, God preserved and rescued Joseph on countless occasions and eventually made him a ruler in the most powerful nation on earth at the time, Egypt.  He gave Joseph the resources and foresight to help thousands of people from starvation during a desperate time of famine on earth.  Joseph's journey, so horrible at first, ended in, not only salvation and peace, but the rescuing of countless other lives. 

Okay, so many of us would be quick to believe Joseph had a right to be bitter, hurt, and angry at those who abused and betrayed him and I would venture to guess he had issues that took him years to work through.

However, at the end of this ancient drama, Joseph's long lost brothers make a reappearance, ironically coming to beg their brother (whom they betrayed in heinous fashion) for food. 

Wow, what a great opportunity to really let them have their comeuppance! 

But that's not what Joseph does.

Instead he utters one of the most profound and powerful statements in history:

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

(Genesis 50:20)

Mind. Blown.

Thanking your enemies?  That just doesn't happen everyday...

I've never had anyone try to take my life nor have I been sold into slavery.  However, there have been times in life I've believed myself to be treated unfairly or harshly.  In the bitterness of my reality and my brokenness I've asked God "Why!?"  Why didn't He rescue me when I wanted it?  Why did He put me in that situation in the first place?  After all, He had the power to surround me with different people and easy stories.  Why did He see fit to allow all this to happen?

The questions that grab you -- Why me God?

One thing I know is that God has a high respect for mankind's free will and man's choice, whether for good or evil.  He also knows how this whole journey called life will play out.  God knew how the people who have hurt me were going to behave long before they even existed. 

As He knew what Joseph's brothers were going to do, so He knew what people around me were going to do, how they would hurt me, or how they would simply let me down.  God knew this and, in His all-knowing wisdom, God chose to put me right where I was for times such as these.  Why?  After all, didn't my heavenly Father's heart break when mine broke?  Yes.

But He knew that, out of everyone else, I was the one who could go through "xyz" and come out on the other side of this thing.  He knew I could shine brighter in the end because of the trials.  He knew I could possibly go on to accomplish an important task, a task that may not have been presented to me if I didn't have the experiences I've had.

It's really corny sounding but, to twist an old expression -- sinful man and a cruel world can and will give us lemons BUT God can take anything broken and give the world lemonade.

So may I be able to say, "You, {insert name}, intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

Thank You Jesus for the storms.  Thank You for the trials.  Let the things that have hurt me, the things that have broken me, make me shine brighter for You Lord, so, through my weakness and my scars, Your strength and power may be seen and You may be glorified!

Praise Him through the storm

(frayed Bible)
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