Random Acts Of Kindness

Taking the time to lend a helping hand.

Random acts of kindness.  Boy, it sounds good to say that.  Say it out loud for a second, in a lofty tone -- "Random acts of kindness." 

I see that phrase everywhere, Pinterest especially.  Some in depth quote or phrase by a good soul encouraging us to be randomly generous and kind to our fellow man.  We all nod in agreement, pat ourselves on the back for our progressive thinking, and think positively.

But do we actually do good to others or do we share motivational words on our Facebook feed and then go back to our lives where we barely look strangers in the eye?

True confession -- that's me!  I love the idea of volunteering and helping but when it comes to putting it into practice, I stumble, fall, and crash into a pathetic pile of good intentions destined to never get off the ground. 

See, there are two ways to help the world: giving of your money and giving of your time.  (Yes, for the nitpickers out there, you can do both but we're going to talk about them separately.)



This is totally a random act of kindess! 
I know I talk below about how easy giving money is
but there are so many things I love about this picture I just had to share. 
Seeing somone in need on the street and just giving without question = something beautiful happened.

Giving of your money

Okay, this one is so easy for me.  How awesome is it to give just five dollars?!  You never miss it!  Even bigger donations?  Totally doable.  Some might argue it's hard to give money but it truly isn't.  You can do without if you have to, especially when you comfort yourself with the idea that you're sacrificing for the good of others.

But, honestly, money is a very 'safe' way to give.  When I write a check to someone or some organization who needs it, I can hide safely behind my bank account, a few seconds of my time taken to scribble some ink and send my funds off into the world for the betterment of all. 

Let me pause and clarify -- I'm not dissing the act of giving to others financially.  It's essential.  It's necessary.  It's needed.

I am saying that, for me personally, the act of giving financially requires very little effort on my part.  It's my way of contributing but not having to get involved.  With a planned budget every month which allows for giving of our funds, it really takes all effort out of making a donation happen.

This brings us to the second form of giving...

Love.
I have a friend who does this with her daughters during the Christmas season;
what an awesome way to give of yourself.

Giving of your time

Boom!  There it is; the key ingredient of the 'random acts of kindess' call.  There are so many people who could use our help in the form of our two hands or an ear to listen or our heart to do something considerate for them.  Just our time really.  However, I have found, we can be exceptionally selfish with our time.

My husband and I had a conversation about this the other day.  We are well aware that we struggle with compassion, hospitality, and finding ways to give of ourselves to the world around us.  And I mean truly give of ourselves, not just give with our pocketbook.  (I know, I make us sound like two grumpy jerks.  I promise we're not bad people, just a little weather-beaten.  Honest.)  We've decided it's time to do something about it.  Because we are new at this practice, we've promised each other to do at least one act of spontaneous kindness every month.  I know it doesn't seem like much but we're baby-stepping ourselves into showing love to the world. 

For me, it won't be easy.  I always have ideas of how I want to help and end up talking myself out of them.  For one thing, it's HARD to put yourself out there with other people.  Here's an example -- if an acquaintance of mine is in the hospital, my first instinct is to buy flowers and show up with a flourish of love and encouragement.  Then I think, wait, what if they don't want to see anyone?  Oh, I'll bet they already have a ton of visitors already.  What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse?  What if it's awkward?  What if they hate flowers?!  What if I go to the wrong hospital walk around lost for HOURS?!  You see.  Within the matter of a few moments, I've talked myself out of my initial instinct of showing love and support and end up doing nothing.

Doubt; the killer of good ideas

The funny thing?  I KNOW better.  A few years ago, one of my family members I'm very close to was fighting brain cancer.  While people were generous and quick to volunteer to give stuff (food, fund-raisers, etc), I can count on one hand how many people actually took the time to really be there.  Ironically, all my loved one wanted was someone to come and visit him; he was handicapped while this was going on and someone stopping by and just sitting with him, maybe telling him about their day, would have meant the world.  But barely anyone did; lots of people said they were going to but never followed through.

It's not as if he only knew bad people; he knew a ton of wonderful, good, giving people.  That wasn't the problem; the problem was that people start to feel awkward, then doubtful, then hesitant and, eventually, they don't do to their fellow man the good they had originally intended.

I guess my encouragement to myself as well as my readers is to be bold.  It's better to extend a helping hand and have it smacked away than to never reach out to someone and let them fall.  It's scary to put yourself out there but it's not really about how we feel; it's about the good we are trying to do. 

Try.  What if you're the only one reaching out?

Starting is the hardest part sometimes.  I know I often wonder to myself, where in the world do I go to help others?  This is a silly problem I create in my head because, honestly, I could feed the birds in the park and I'd be doing something positive for the world.  It may not seem like much but I'll bet it matters a lot to the birds...

It's too late for a New Year's resolution or something grand like that so let's just do this thing.  Let's be creative and watchful and I'm sure the opportunities to change things around us will present themselves in abundance.



photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mynameisharsha/5832815994/">mynameisharsha</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/strevs/352200489/">Strevo</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/virtualsugar/3129428399/">Monica's Dad</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/virtualsugar/3129428399/">Monica's Dad</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimfaires/14103657771/">kimfaires</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/leo-gruebler/6347903993/">LeonArts.at</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jillclardy/5523802062/">Jill Clardy</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">cc</a>